the road lately .

Because there’s too much to tell, and because I’m in a season where I would rather watch Downton Abbey re-runs than write about myself, I figured it would be good to just throw some memories out here onto this space and see what sticks.


H o m e s c h o o l

It turns out we are still surviving the wild and bonkers world of homeschooling. There have been several tools, conversations, and resources I’ve encountered that have helped me gain some perspective, hand-me-down expertise, and sanity. I think I will write more about how I have structured the days and added some adventures to make it all work together, but for now I will say we are well. The brothers are intelligent and motivated, the school weeks feel manageable and productive, and I don’t feel the sense of implosion I did at first. Each day of homeschool ends with the boys going to the middle school for band, and I have seen them come alive more and more each day as they learn, play, and then go be a part of a team. It’s all quite wonderful, for the most part, and now I’m so thankful we didn’t throw in the towel after the first couple of weeks.

Z i o n

Well, I guess it’s official – Zion has epilepsy. We struggled through this summer with so many emergencies and unknowns. Now we are sitting months later, watching his seizures be managed by an affective medication, and very relieved to (mostly) have our lives back for the time being. Seizure-free days turned to weeks have lead to a resurgence of gratitude in my heart, and a slow, steady release of the ever-present tension I carried in my body all summer. He’s gotten to attend his first baseball game and he’s making great strides in his new kindergarten class. After all we’ve been through this summer, not knowing if he would ever be well again, I am so thankful. we. are. so. thankful.


T r a v e l

‘Tis been the season for travel. Now that Zion’s meds are managing his seizures, we’ve been able to get out of town quite a bit this fall.. (typically one at a time, as one parent always tries to be here in case disaster strikes). I had the joy of visiting dear friends Amy and Chris in Montana. (click here to see some pics!) We photographed a wedding together at 30 Rock in NYC. I went to Toronto to see some dear families and tell a couple of “mornings with you” stories. And Jeremy and I had the great joy of traveling to Sweden to speak at Way Up North – Europe’s most badass wedding photographer conference… as the keynote speakers. What a huge honor this was! I could go on forever about it, about the people we met, and what a gift it was to our spirits.


M o i

All in all, I find myself somewhere in between a heart overflowing with gratitude, a spirit craving the slow down and silent chill of winter, and a soul longing to dig deeper into the mysterious “more” of being alive and human. Our chickens are full-grown and laying rich, beautiful eggs. Our boys are growing up, micah almost a teenager, with one toe in childhood and nine in adolescence. I find myself incredibly grateful to have lived deep into the story of life, love, loss,  and marriage with Jeremy for over fifteen years now. I’m waving an eager goodbye to a summer wrought with trials and welcoming in the cool rest of fall with open arms.  (thanks to amy messenger for the b&w photo of me. I feel it so truly captures who I am. xo)


love to you all, dear ones. thanks for the ways you care for me and my family.

what do you say we write letters this fall/winter? shoot me an email at, send me your mailing address, and I’ll send you mine!



something beautiful on a wednesday

I listened to this little NPR Tiny Desk concert of Sam Beam and Jesca Hoop on the airplane home from NYC this weekend and fell in love.. particularly with the last song, “Every Songbird Says” . and these two. there’s something about their voices together, the complex harmonies and the way the air floats around them so they almost feel suspended in all of their magical tones.

If you don’t know, Sam Beam is the frontman behind Iron & Wine.. I spent many a day feeling anxg’st ridden and listening to his music while rain fell. While I think you can find some hints of his old flair in here in the first song or two, this new creation of songs with Jesca Hoop are something unique and stunning.

As long as people out there in the world are making things like this, I think there’s a lot of hope and delight to be found.


a cocktail recipe for real life: insect-infused wine.

A gnat landed in my wine this evening.
I pulled the drunken bug out of the red liquid, squished him between my thumb and index finger, wiped his guts on my pants, and went right back to sipping.
I feel this is a pretty accurate representation of life right now.
It’s not ideal but, amidst the chaos of the buzzing, I am determined to still drink the wine, to not let any good thing go to waste.

Right now I’m listening to jazz, have been reading a great book from the library, drinking insect-infused wine (give it five will be all the rage) and now.. am writing this. I’m also sitting opposite Zion as he is passed out snoring on the couch, sleeping off the effects of what may have been another minor seizure. For awhile this summer, these came every two weeks, then every three days. As a result of never knowing exactly when the next one would hit, or when we would have to take another emergency trip to the children’s hospital, this summer was really hard. I finally admitted that to a friend this weekend and then had to excuse myself to go cry for a few minutes.

We’ve had about a month now where things have gotten better. The anti-epileptic meds he is on seem to be working and we’ve even had a couple date nights where we didn’t have to come home for an emergency, and a trip to NYC this past weekend for a wedding. The past couple of nights, however, Zion’s been showing some signs in the night that might be another type of seizure beginning to take hold on top of the ones he’s being treated for. It’s scary, it’s disruptive, and we didn’t get much quality sleep last night as a result.

Jeremy and I are rarely in the same hole at the same time, but this morning we were. Instead of one of us trying to be the “strong one” or him taking his usual optimism spin, we just sat in that hole together and talked about it. We were honest about how sometimes we feel sorry for ourselves. We commiserated how, in most marriages with healthy kids, their bedtime means you unwind and the night is all yours. Last night, we finally find let down our emotional guards and felt a bit normal, only to find Zion may be having another seizure, or cluster of them.

This is why a gnat in the wine just has to be dealt with like the little mofo he is, and I have to go on enjoying the glass in front of me.
There won’t be much because there’s a chance we will be in the car any minute now, rushing to the emergency room. That’s just what this season of life looks like. It can all change in a flash.

For now, jazz,
two pre-teen kids quietly reading in the rooms near me,
a husband in the kitchen making soup for dinner, God bless him,
and Zion.. five feet across the room, snoring away while his little body twitches every once in awhile.

(and a quick side note: In moments like these I think, “Thank God we’re not on social media anymore. how would one go about sharing such a complicated picture within such small and confining parameters?”)